Gayest Tides of the Year Expected Tomorrow

According to the National Weather Service, the gayest tides of the year will occur around 4:00 p.m. tomorrow. Combined with what are expected to be sunny skies and temperatures near 80 degrees, it should prove to be a delight for beachcombers of all ages and persuasions.

The Weather Service did not explain why the tides are expected to be so gay, but typically it has to do with the alignment of the sun and moon, both of which exert a strong gravitational pull on the earth.

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Can we have a big howdy-doo please, for Coldplay, who will be performing Our Duncan Funk Song of the Day.

Title: In My Place
Artist: Coldplay