One of the Funniest Things I Ever Said

A song came up on my Ipod yesterday, and it reminded me of what I think is one of the funniest things I’ve ever said. Unfortunately, however, to really appreciate it you had to be there, and, well, you weren’t – it was just Vulva and me. But I don’t really have anything else to write about today, so I’m just going to go ahead and write about it. But fair warning, it’s probably going to be a crappy post, ‘cause like I said, you had to be there.

A friend of mine had loaned me several CDs by the Austin Lounge Lizards, a tongue-in-cheek country band that blends humor and country music. I liked some of their stuff enough to go about making my own “best of” CD. One of the songs was called “Hillbillies In a Haunted House,” and it’s about 87 Tennessee hillbillies who head out on a trip and spend a night in a haunted house. One of the earliest lines in the song, in talking about the hillbillies is:

One named Buck, his wife was half-dead,
He should have left her at home but he brought her instead.

And then the song goes on to describe how all the hillbillies eventually die or are killed. And then the chorus is along the lines of

80 hillbillies in a haunted house,
80 hillbillies in a haunted house,
80 hillbillies in a haunted house,
81 if you count Buck’s spouse,
81 hillbillies in a haunted house.

And as the song progresses, the number of hillbillies goes down as they die or are killed, and the chorus is adjusted accordingly: 39 hillbillies in a haunted house (40 if you count Buck’s spouse) … 22 hillbillies in a haunted house (23 if you count Buck’s spouse), etc...

Well, that’s the way, overly long background and context. I had recently made this CD, and had listened to it more than I’m sure Vulva would have liked. And then cut to a short time later, and I was watching a baseball game on TV. Vulva came in and asked what the score was, and I said nonchalantly “four to one … four to two if you count Buck’s spouse.” It was pretty damned funny – you’re just going to have to trust me on this one – it really was. Too bad you weren't there.

I warned you this would be kind of a crappy post, but oh no, you just went ahead and read the whole thing anyway. So don't go complaining to me.

* * * * *

Well it would only make sense for Our Duncan Funk Song of the Day that we’d have the Hillbilly song talked about above … but I couldn’t find it on YouTube. But I did find another one of my favorite Lounge Lizards songs, and that’s what we’re going with. I always loved the chorus of this song:

Take me home to the flatlands
The good ole’ welcome-mat lands
Where the waving fields of wheat say come back soon.
Take me home to that little town where everyone’s your neighbor
And the family ate dead chickens every Sunday afternoon.

Title: Cornhusker Refugee
Artist: Austin Lounge Lizards