I Wish There Was A Small Horse-Like Animal Called a Pornery, Because I’d Write a Classic Children’s Book Called “The Ornery Pornery"

Yes, yes, I know, I could just pretend that there was such an animal. But I think that’d be asking just a little too much of my readers, don’t you? They’re just children for chrissakes.

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Oh, and please don’t get me started on people who insist on pronouncing ornery “onrey” – as though there were no first “r”. There is a first “r” – that’s just reality. Not only would they be wrong in their pronunciation, “onrey” doesn’t even rhyme with “pornery” so it wouldn’t even make sense. There’s nothing remotely catchy about the title “The Onrey Pornery.” And don’t even think about suggesting that you could just call your pretend animal a Ponrey instead of a Pornery. You can’t do that because it’s a Pornery! You might as well call Duncan Funk “Bob Fartzalot!” Except that’s not his name, so you can't do that! I’m clearly getting a little too worked up here – this conversation is over!

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Gotye this, and Gotye that. Now it’s Gotye with Our Duncan Funk Song of the Day.

Title: Somebody That I Used to Know
Artist: Gotye