Hello. Hello … is this on? Is this on? Oh, I see, the words show up on the screen there.
Hello, I’m Duncan Funk. This is my life and these are my times.
An Introduction….
I like cabbage.
I call my grandmother “Grandma.” It’s like an inside joke between us. No one else seems to get it.
I have a girlfriend … and I guess it’s pretty serious. Her name is Vulva Meadows. I know, I know, it sounds more like a housing development – she gets that all the time. So she’s pretty sensitive about her name.
I think I’m pretty typical, but I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t feel like I really fit in, but it’s not too bad.. I always wanted to be really good at something, but I never really was – at least I didn’t think I was. But Vulva says there’s something I’m really good at. She says REALLY GOOD! It’s kind of embarrassing so I really don’t like to talk about it too much. I wanted to write a song about it, but so far I’ve only come up with two beginning verses, and I don’t know which one I like best. Here they are.
Option 1
[Begins with really driving guitar, and then a heavy pounding beat]
Let me Duncan Funk you, let me Duncan Funk you. [that’s a guy singing]
Won’t you Duncan Funk me, won’t you Duncan Funk me. [that’s female background singers]
Option 2
[With a really heavy beat, just a single guy singing real fast– I think he’s probably black, but you never know.]
First the Duncan, then the Funk
First the Duncan, then the Funk
Put ‘em both together
Now you’ve been Duncan Funk’ed, you’ve been Duncan Funk’ed.
Hello, I’m Duncan Funk. This is my life and these are my times.
An Introduction….
I like cabbage.
I call my grandmother “Grandma.” It’s like an inside joke between us. No one else seems to get it.
I have a girlfriend … and I guess it’s pretty serious. Her name is Vulva Meadows. I know, I know, it sounds more like a housing development – she gets that all the time. So she’s pretty sensitive about her name.
I think I’m pretty typical, but I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t feel like I really fit in, but it’s not too bad.. I always wanted to be really good at something, but I never really was – at least I didn’t think I was. But Vulva says there’s something I’m really good at. She says REALLY GOOD! It’s kind of embarrassing so I really don’t like to talk about it too much. I wanted to write a song about it, but so far I’ve only come up with two beginning verses, and I don’t know which one I like best. Here they are.
Option 1
[Begins with really driving guitar, and then a heavy pounding beat]
Let me Duncan Funk you, let me Duncan Funk you. [that’s a guy singing]
Won’t you Duncan Funk me, won’t you Duncan Funk me. [that’s female background singers]
Option 2
[With a really heavy beat, just a single guy singing real fast– I think he’s probably black, but you never know.]
First the Duncan, then the Funk
First the Duncan, then the Funk
Put ‘em both together
Now you’ve been Duncan Funk’ed, you’ve been Duncan Funk’ed.
What do you think? Which one is better? Or could they both be in the same song? What I’d really like to do is to somewhere put in there a change-of-pace interlude that sounds just like the one that comes about two-thirds the way through the BeeGee’s Nights on Broadway. Now, that’d be cool, and I know Vulva really likes an interlude!
* * * * *
I have a dog. His name is Pooters. Mr. Jeepers call him a mutt. Grrrrr. Sometimes, under my breath, I call Mr. Jeepers a mutt.
* * * * *
My neighbors, Officer and Mrs. Cornhole and their daughter Nikki, got home from their vacation yesterday. I think they went to visit relatives or something, maybe in North Dakota or someplace like that – I don’t really know. But when they got back they discovered that Pooters had “done his business” in their yard. Boy did I hear about that.
* * * * *
Well, I think this might be enough for my first day....I don't want to strain myself right off the bat. But before going, did you see my logo? If so, you’re probably thinking that I spent hundreds, or maybe even thousands of dollars on it. But no, I didn’t – I did it myself! That’s my frog! (But he’s not real – he’s actually ceramic. I’m mostly German.)
I have a dog. His name is Pooters. Mr. Jeepers call him a mutt. Grrrrr. Sometimes, under my breath, I call Mr. Jeepers a mutt.
* * * * *
My neighbors, Officer and Mrs. Cornhole and their daughter Nikki, got home from their vacation yesterday. I think they went to visit relatives or something, maybe in North Dakota or someplace like that – I don’t really know. But when they got back they discovered that Pooters had “done his business” in their yard. Boy did I hear about that.
* * * * *
Well, I think this might be enough for my first day....I don't want to strain myself right off the bat. But before going, did you see my logo? If so, you’re probably thinking that I spent hundreds, or maybe even thousands of dollars on it. But no, I didn’t – I did it myself! That’s my frog! (But he’s not real – he’s actually ceramic. I’m mostly German.)
* * * * *
Oh, and one more thing. I guess it’s time to inaugurate what I’m thinking might become a daily feature that I’m going to call Today’s Duncan Funk Song of the Day. It’s going to be songs I like. What do I like, you ask? Well, I like some newer stuff, like alternative and adult alternative, a fair amount of old stuff, including some classic and not so classic, and a few other things thrown in now and again. What you’ll almost never see is a lot of today’s contemporary schmaltzy, poppy stuff, opera, hip-hop, auctioneering, yodeling, or country western (at least, hardly ever). If I happen to mention a song in that day’s post, that’ll probably be that day’s song-of-the-day – just like today’s.
You’re probably wondering “why is Duncan Funk going to do this?” Well most obviously, I just assume you want to know what I like. (I mean if I were you, I know I’d want to know.) And second, it might help me make millions and millions of dollars. Since beginning this, I've figured out how to at least put a link to the song. But there's probably some way I haven't figured out yet where if you download the song, I could get just a tiny little cut. Hey, if you got some good ideas on how to do this, let me know.
So without further adieu, let's kick this sucker off (with an assist from Helen Reddy). Click on the title to see the video.
Today’s Duncan Funk Song of the Day
Title: Nights on Broadway
Artist: The Bee Gees
You’re probably wondering “why is Duncan Funk going to do this?” Well most obviously, I just assume you want to know what I like. (I mean if I were you, I know I’d want to know.) And second, it might help me make millions and millions of dollars. Since beginning this, I've figured out how to at least put a link to the song. But there's probably some way I haven't figured out yet where if you download the song, I could get just a tiny little cut. Hey, if you got some good ideas on how to do this, let me know.
So without further adieu, let's kick this sucker off (with an assist from Helen Reddy). Click on the title to see the video.
Today’s Duncan Funk Song of the Day
Title: Nights on Broadway
Artist: The Bee Gees
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