Well, our big Chamber of Commerce talent show was last night, and you know who won? Well it wasn’t me, even though I did a beautiful rendition of Song For Vulva (see my post from April 8th … it’s really a beautiful song). And it wasn’t Wes Wong who did a great Elmer Fudd version of the Door’s classic People Are Strange (People are stwange, when you’re a stwanger, faces wook ugwy, when you’re awone …). And it wasn’t The Cornhole Singers who did their own “happy” version of Led Zepplin’s Whole Lotta Love. (Overall they did their usual good job, but their dance movements, particularly to the line “Gonna give you every inch of my love,” were frankly disturbing.) And it wasn’t even folk duo sensation White and Wong who did a modified Simon and Garfunkel song they titled I’m Not So Much a Rock Anymore.
No, it wasn’t any of these. It was … are you ready? Buck Arbuckle! Freakin’ Buck Arbuckle, Gar’s little brother. And what’s worse, he won it on an idea he stole from me! About six months ago I was with Vulva, sitting in a booth at a restaurant, and I was telling her this idea I had for something that I thought was really funny. It was a take-off on the song They Call the Wind Mariah. Do you know the song? It starts out: Way out west they got a name, for rain and wind and fire. The rain is Tess, the fire’s Joe, and they call the wind Mariah. And when they sing the chorus, they really draw the name Mariah out, like Muuhhh – riii – uhhhhh, Muuhhh – riii – uhhhh, oh they call the wind Muuhh – rii- uhhhh.
And so what I was telling Vulva at the restaurant was that I thought it’d be real funny if somebody sang the song, but instead of singing “they call the wind Mariah,” instead they’d sing “they call the wind Bob,” and they’d really draw out the name Bob, so it sounded like “Bahh-obbb.” And she just looked at me with this look on her face, and said “I don’t think so.” And it was pretty clear she thought it was a sucky idea. Well, when we got up to leave, guess who I saw in the booth behind us? Buck Arbuckle! And then last night at the talent show, he comes out dressed like the gayest cowboy you’ve ever seen, with a great big white cowboy hat, chaps, boots with spurs and a red shirt that was embroidered with something or other. And he starts singing that song, but of course he’s singing “and they call the wind Bahh-obbb.” And every time he sang that line, the audience howled with laughter. Sucky idea, huh Vulva?
Freakin’ Buck Arbuckle, indeed.
* * * * *
Well I couldn’t find a YouTube version of Mariah that I liked well enough to feature as Our Duncan Funk Song of the Day. (But there is a good version you can find on Itunes by a guy named Ron Lloyd.) So let’s invite Mr. Springsteen back, shall we?
Title: Working On a Dream
Artist: Bruce Springsteen
Album: Working On a Dream
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