Bosoms On Parade

Remember Bill Billups (who goes by “Wendel,” and who’s not Jewish), who’s married to Little Barb Arbuckle? His name hasn’t come up for awhile … until today. I always suspected he was a peculiar sort, but I never realized just how peculiar.

I was over at my friend Gar’s house this morning, when Wendel came out, and real serious-like, asked if he could have a couple of moments of our time so he could “run something by us.”. We said “sure.” He then told us of his plan to start a new website called BosomsOnParade.com. Right off the bat he told us it wouldn’t be a dirty site, ‘cause he didn’t like those at all. He said he was thinking maybe there could be a video of a bunch of little kids pulling wagons, and in the wagons would be like the upper half of naked department store women mannequins, and the little kids would be smiling and waving flags and having fun because they were in a parade. And then he said “Americans love kids, they love parades, and they love their bosoms – what’s not to like?” And then he looked at us like he wanted our reaction, and Gar and I both shrugged our shoulders as if to say “yeah, what indeed?”

He then got even more serious, and lowered his voice, and told us that initially he thought about calling the site TittiesOnParade.com, but the more he thought about it, he thought that might give the wrong impression and end up appealing to an “undesirable element,” and he wanted it to be wholesome. So that’s why he went with BosomsOnParade – he just felt it was a lot more respectable and as he said who’s got a problem with bosoms? I just kind of nodded my head and said “good call.” He then smiled real big at Gar and me, and said “thanks fellas, glad you like the idea – I think I might be able to make a lot of money off this.” Then he went back inside. Gar and I just looked at each other and said “whoa!”

If nothing else, I guess I at least gotta give him credit for going with the “bosoms” rather than that “other” word, you know, the “t” one – that word just makes me kind of cringe. I don’t think I could even type it more than once. But like Wendel said, who’s got a problem with bosoms? I could probably type that all day long. Bosoms, bosoms, bosoms. Well, maybe not all day.

*****

For Our Duncan Funk Song of the Day, we’ve got Blue October. Click on the title to see the video.

Title: A Quiet Mind
Artist: Blue October
Album: History For Sale