Witty or Tasteless?

I’ve been kicking around this song lyric for awhile now, and I can’t decide if it’s incredibly witty, or tasteless. I’ve found that sometimes it’s a very fine line that separates the two.

I’ll become a wreck tonight, when I think of you.
I’ll become a wreck tonight, like I always do.
One thing is certain, one thing is true.
That I’ll become a wreck tonight, when I think of you.

I tried to work the word “tissue” in there because it kind of rhymes, and well, you know. But poetically, I just couldn’t make it fit. At least I had the good sense and the good taste to tone down the third line. Originally it had been “It’s always hard on me, just for once I wish it could be hard on you.”

Now, on the off chance that you’re thinking to yourself, “What you talkin’ about Willis? I’ve read and re-read your little verse, and frankly I don’t see anything witty or tasteless about it … you’re just talking about someone who becomes distraught when they think about their unrequited love. What’s the deal?” Calm down, and let’s work through this together. First off, it's Duncan - not Willis. Secondarily, don’t focus on the way the words look written down, but on the way they sound. Ohhhhh.

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Well, I looked at my floor this morning, and saw that it needs sweeping. And that was inspiration enough for Our Duncan Funk Song of the Day. This is a really great version of the song from the Love album. Click on the title to see the video.

Title: While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Artist: The Beatles
Album: Love