Roy's Very Bad Day

My good friend Roy Noyes – usually happy-go-lucky Roy Noyes – was mortified to discover this morning that our local newspaper had run an article characterizing him as being “sexually immature.” Fortunately the article was brief and buried on an inside page, but still, it’s the type of thing that’s never good. Here’s the article in its entirety:

Local Fella Called Sexually Immature

An unnamed source has characterized local resident Roy Noyes as being sexually immature. The source claimed that in matters of romance, Mr. Noyes relies “overly much” on puppets. The source also said that Mr. Noyes too often hums nonsense songs when he’s nervous, making for tedious encounters.

Where to begin? What about the headline – local “fella?” And the unnamed source? I’m sorry, but that’s got Gina Lou Bitters’ name written all over it. And as far as the substance of the article goes, well, I know Roy likes his puppets all right – heck we all do – but I’ve never sensed any over-reliance whatsoever. (In fact, I think many women would be charmed.) And I won’t even dignify the humming comment with a response – we’re all musical around here.

I don’t believe this is responsible journalism. I may just have to write a letter to the editor.

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For Our Duncan Funk Song of the Day, we have Fleetwood Mac, who seem to be taking the Roy story pretty much in stride. Click on the title to see the video.

Title: Silver Spring
Artist: Fleetwood Mac