The Gayest Vegetable? Corn. And It’s Not Even Close

According to our estimates, 62 percent of Americans consider corn to be the gayest vegetable. The next highest? Brussels sprouts at 24 percent. (Not surprisingly, a majority of people acknowledge that Brussels sprouts sound like the gayest vegetable, but they understand that sounding like and actually being are very different things.) Zucchini comes in at third, at only 7 percent.

In the interest of full disclosure, we should point out that “our estimates” are not based on polling or any other scientific method – rather, they’re simply based on what sounds about right to us. We find this to be a cheaper and far more convenient methodology.

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Here comes Mumford & Sons, riding along real nice, with Our Duncan Funk Song of the Day.

Title: The Cave
Artist: Mumford and Sons