Mr. Jeepers Arrested on Suspicion of Girding His Loins!

I just heard … I don’t know the details … I’m going down to the courthouse now … I’m feeling pretty frazzled. I’ll report later. (And please, don’t even ask – there’s just no time for a Song of the Day – not at a time like this.)

* * * * *

UPDATE: Okay, rest easy everyone, all charges have been dropped … but I think it’s safe to say there are some residual hard feelings. Mr. Jeepers was in fact girding his loins – there was no “suspicion” about it, he said he was doing some serious girding – but it turns out there’s nothing illegal about that. It’s simply an expression meaning to prepare to do something difficult or strenuous. In his case, Mr. Jeepers was getting ready to go down to Dr. Noodleman’s clinic for a “noodle-‘in” (a colonoscopy for those who aren’t familiar with our terminology). I guess he was on the phone with Mrs. Cornhole – why, I don’t know! – and he passed this bit of information on to her. She immediately told her husband, Officer Cornhole, “Oliver, he says he’s girding his loins!” I guess Officer Cornhole immediately jumped in his patrol car and with his lights flashing and siren wailing drove over to Mr. Jeepers and arrested him. Mr. Jeepers says he’s now thinking of filing a complaint against Officer Cornhole for false arrest. This could get interesting.